i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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