Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
