Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
