But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
