We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
