She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Randomize
