I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
