Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(813): View more from Florida

I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.

Fav 25 3397 1053
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test

Fav 14 3514 1561
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(201): View more from New Jersey

Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico

Fav 6 1530 1153
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(514): View more from Quebec

so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.

Fav 2 1901 830
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(609): View more from New Jersey

You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...

Fav 0 892 771
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(317): View more from Indiana

I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches

Fav 1 426 282
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(407): View more from Florida

I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.

Fav 4 641 237
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(630): View more from Illinois

How did I end up in some random dudes car?

(1-630): View more from Illinois

Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.

Fav 0 30 6
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(317): View more from Indiana

The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband

Fav 0 30 78
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