Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
