He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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