So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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