i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
