He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
