So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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