he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
