I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Randomize
