I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
