she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Mom said you looked used
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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