my vag is so smooth its legendary
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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