At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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