This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize