why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
