David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize