I hate your face
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
