take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
