What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
You made out with two different species that night
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
