He asked to "fluff my boner.."
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Randomize
