Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
