I'm drive I can fine osifer
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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