I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Randomize
