This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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