I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
