we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
