so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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