And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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