her vagine was all disorganized.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
