Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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