i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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