It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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