she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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