Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
