I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
