Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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