you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
People with herpes should wear stickers.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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