my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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