Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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