Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
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