she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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