operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
