The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
