Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
