maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
