Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize
