He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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