the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
