I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I don't deserve a penis
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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