I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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