no, he came in my armpit
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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