I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
