He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize