Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
How does one acquire holy water?
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
