I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
