where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
