There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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